The Great and Powerful Jimmothy's Wondermazing and Funderful Journal: Entry WHOGIVESASHITNOTME

Dear Journal,

HOLY SHIT. THE HOLIEST SHIT. IF YOU GOT A PRIEST AND--

LOOK JOURNAL STOP DISTRACTING ME

THAT'S BESIDES THE POINT

HATH

AS IN

HATHRENAIR

V.

MOTHERFUCKING

MIRI'EL

IS BACK

BACK. HE'S HERE. WITH US, AGAIN, AND I CAN FINALLY STOP BEING ALONE AND OH GOD HE'S MY BEST FRIEND IN THE WHOLE WORLD I MISSED HIM SO MUCH IF I WAS A HOMOSEXUAL I WOULD SO HAVE SEX WITH HIM BUT I'M NOT.

The journal goes on like this for the next ten pages or so, until it finally stops due to Vellectras most likely running out of ink.

Dear Journal.

Ahem. Sorry, about that, yeah? I just. I was really excited about Hathrenair being back and I could just barely contain myself, y'know? 

...No.

No you don't know.

You're a journal. Why the fuck do I keep talking to you like you're not a journal? I know it, you know it, we know it, but I just feel a lot better about my complete inadequacy compared to Hathrenair  myself if I refer to you like that. But, well....I guess I need to get you caught up, first. Let's make a list!

Starting, of course, with number one. The DSMA. Things have been progressing pretty damned well with the school, if I do say so myself. I initiated all the new students the teacher and that one guy who always comes by for no reason. We summoned a strudel monster. I, of course, being myself, easily defeated the monster we summoned with my BEAR FUCKING HANDS.

NO, YOU READ THAT WRITE JOURNAL

BEAR HANDS

I JUST SPROUTED BEAR HANDS AND BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF IT

So that went well. Um. I'm still on the hunt for new students, which is basically fucking impossible due to the fact that NOBODY IN THE CITY ISN'T APART OF SOME SHITTY ORGANISATION THAT -ISN'T- THE DSMA

Literally nobody. Not a single person. We find neat prospects and fine people and half-decent magi day-to-day, but the never join.

Luckily, Hathrenair is now back with us. With his charm and charisma and superior magic skill and superior skills with love and originality and sheer amazingness goddamnit why am I just a terrible version of him he'll just be reeling the new students in like nothing. Like they're fish.

And then we can teach a class, or something similar. Rather, -he- can teach a class. I can't teach for shit. Here's an analogy. If I, as a person, was a whale, and 'teaching' was a bomb, I'd be a whale who has no idea how to use a bomb. Like this one--

golden.

Moving on!

Uh-. Oh. Wow. That's the end of my list. Are you kidding me? It's been like-. Y'know what, fuck it.

Alright, so....concerning Rae. Essentially what happened was that I decided to break things off with her. Partially because, well, I'd be a terrible father....and I kinda got her pregnant. One. And -two-. She was crazy. -Crazy-. Literally. Something wrong in the head with her. And she has weird bouts of pacifism combined with bouts of violence. With no clear distinction at all. Bah. 

An old student came back and apparently has and always had a thing for me. And a niece of an old student. What the fuck's up with that? Every single woman--. Not even. Every single -person- I know hangs around me solely because it's entertaining when I fuck up, which is often. You do -not- like me for who I am as a person, it's not that hard to wrap your heads around this exceedingly simple concept.

Aria torments me to no end still. -Still-.

I haven't talked to Hath much at all since he got back, but he's pretty much the same. Yeah. The Same. Like he always was, like he always will be. Better than you. With him around, though, I start to get those strange fits of like. Inadequacy. Feeling bad. I just. It's really odd, but I get that feeling in my chest and I just hate my own existence for a little while, and question it excessively, wondering if anyone'd even care, because Hath's here, and as we have always covered, he -is- me, just better.

...New subject.

Mah is...I dunno. She's been relatively nice. Gave me my hat back. Lent me money for a whore. Wonder why that is.

Hm.

Oh. Going back to Hath, briefly, I had a conversation with Keys, today. He's mysterious as ever. Never gives me an inch and more often than not I find that I've lost ground to him. metaphorically. He didn't make me feel much better about the Hath thing.

Speaking of, with any luck, Rae n' Hath are hooking up so she can have someone actually good for her SOMEONE JUST LIKE YOU BUT DECENT and all -I- have to do is help out with the kid whenever it pops out in a year or so. Goddamnit.

...Anyways. Gotta make it to an expedition later, so I'll chat with you more after then, alright?