If I had written yesterday, a very different set of words would be flowing from my pen. I might have, for instance, expressed thoughts of hopes that Kaliesin would have gotten my letter and its meaning, and would have wanted to meet. I would have said I was happy, all things considering.
But, instead, all I feel is ice and metal. I sent my letter to Kaliesin, and he wrote back. He said that, while he was a friend to me, I was no friend to him. He expressed no interest in seeing me, or well, Faie. And so, in my mind, that friendship is buried along with my name. Buried and decayed.
Foolish, foolish people. You think that by turning your shoulder at me, that I will cry and beg you, insist on our friendship. You think that, like an obedient and love-hungry dog, I'll come running. You don't see how things have changed. In the past, I would have begged and cried, and done anything to be close to you, to be loved. I would have forgiven any offense, would have embraced you happily. But that girl died. SHE FELLING DIED BECAUSE YOU TURNED AWAY.
And now I take her place. I am like nobody you have ever met. I do anything and everything for Him. I am the knife in His hand, the spell on His lips. I exact His vengeance. I am the instrument of His wrath. I am His obedient pupil, His pet, His wolf on a chain, His to order and command.
Oh, friends, friends. If He asks it, you will die at my hands. If He wills it, it is you I will hunt. Why? Because it is He who has healed me. It is He who has saved me. It is He who has given me value and strength.
And so it is He who I belong to.